Face stood naked under the harsh fluorescent light, looking at
his reflection in the mirror. He'd been standing there a long
time, lost in thought.
He was home, well, at what passed for home, for the past month
and a half, long enough for the bruises to fade and the cuts
to heal. The previous mission had come to a successful conclusion
(Didn't they all?), but he'd paid dearly for his role. He'd been
taken prisoner and worked over by someone who absolutely relished
He supposed he should feel grateful the guy didn't mark up his face
like he had the rest of his body, but it was cold comfort. He was
getting old and some time ago, without his awareness, injuries had
become cumulative. Scars from Vietnam were overlaid with scars
from other places, some state-side, some not. And the scars weren't
all physical. He felt like crying.
He started when he heard a light tapping on the bathroom door.
"Face, you in there?"
"Yeah, Murdock, I'm here." Even to himself he sounded dejected.
Oh, this doesn't sound good, Murdock thought. "Something
bothering you, Face?"
"Everything's bothering me."
Really not good. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, why not," Face sighed, backing away from the door.
Murdock stepped inside and closed the door. Not for privacy, but to
keep some of the warmth in.
"What's bothering you, Facey?" he asked gently.
Face sighed. "Everything."
Murdock leaned back on the closed door, waiting, silent.
"What do you see when you look at me?"
Murdock's lips quirked into a smile. "The man I love."
"That is what I see. What do you see?"
Inside, where Face couldn't see it, Murdock winced. This was
so very not good.
"I don't know how you can stand me, HM," Face continued. "I lie,
I cheat, I steal, and as if that weren't bad enough, now I've
got all these scars." He went back to staring at his reflection
in the mirror.
"We all do what we need to do to survive. You've never lied to
me and I don't think you've ever lied to Hannibal or BA. Maybe
withheld information once in a while, but not lied. You haven't
cheated or stolen from any of us either, have you?"
"No," Face replied in a tiny voice.
Murdock shifted his weight, came off the door. He moved until he
was standing behind him, looking over Face's shoulder into their
reflection on the mirror.
"I don't know what's going to happen when summer comes," Face said.
Murdock looked quizzically at Face's image in the mirror.
"The new scars... there's so many. And in the summer, they'll
stand out against my skin. I'll hate that."
"They'll fade with time."
Murdock looked at the pale golden skin reflected in the mirror.
The bruising was gone; that was something. But Face's skin was
covered with small white scars, places he'd been cut or that had
been beaten until the skin broke open. All over his body, really,
everywhere but his face and his hands. Hurt just to think about
it, beautiful Face carrying permanent reminders of what had been
done to him.
"I think you're beautiful." He was speaking so quietly he wasn't
sure Face could hear him. He put his arms around Face, holding him,
waiting for him to resist or pull away.
Face merely shook his head. "How can you think that?"
"I just do." There was more, but Murdock wasn't sure his words would
come out right. Face had seen so much pain in his life, done so much
suffering -- and yet he'd never given up on humanity, never stopped
caring. He might be manipulative, okay, he was manipulative as far
as non-team members were concerned, but he never took more than anyone
could afford to give. Face wasn't a saint, but he wasn't evil either.
Had more good in him than bad. A lot more good.
Murdock looked down on Face's shoulder, saw a point where three thin
white lines came together in a small asterisk.
"You're covered with stars, Face. That's what the scars are, little
points of light where the good shines through." He held Face closer,
felt the younger man relax against him. Placed a kiss on the soft
hair covering the nape of his neck. "Love you, baby."
Face wrapped his arms over Murdock's, intertwined their fingers.
"Love you too."
- fin -
Fandom: The A-Team
Rating: G m/m
Warnings: Reference to previous torture/abuse
Disclaimer: I don't know who owns The A-Team, but it clearly isn't me
Special Thanks to: Cath and Karo who beta'd this
Comments: Comments are welcome
Archive: Upon request
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Written: March 12, 2002
Haven's Slash Archive
I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org