So, there was this convention for Peach's slash characters.
There was a serious discussion going on at the Firefly table. Alex Krycek had come over and was talking with Jayne Cobb and Simon Tam. All three looked very in character, Alex in his traditional leather jacket, Jayne in his grubby Blue Sun t-shirt, and Simon in a lovely vest.
"She never lets us play together," Jayne was saying. "I want a shot at the big bald guy."
"As if!" Alex shot back. "He only bottoms for me."
"What about me?" Simon piped up. "I never get to top. And I'm always so . . . prissy."
"Doc, you are prissy," Jayne commented, as Simon did his best to glare threateningly at him.
Alex tried to comfort him. "Look, you may be prissy, but Peach gives you depth. You have to admit, she treats us really good."
"How can you say that?"
"Well, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. And you know, I do suffer so beautifully."
"And what's with this underwear thing?" Jayne threw in from left field, causing Alex and Simon to wonder what they'd missed. "All these slash chicks seem to think me and Krycek here never wear any. I do. Sometimes."
"Yeah," Alex agreed. "Do they have any idea how uncomfortable that could get? My boys need a house."
Just then, Walter Skinner and Malcolm Reynolds walked up. They, too, were in character, Walter looking very AD-ish in a beautifully tailored suit, and Mal in his wonderfully tight pants.
"So, what's going on here?" Walter asked.
"We want Peach to do a Firefly/X Files crossover," Alex informed him.
"Don't bug her about that," Walter admonished them. "She gets enough of that from a certain crazy woman in Georgia."
"Well, she did one for Farscape," Mal pointed out.
"Oh, yes," Alex smiled, remembering. "I had really cool long hair in that one. And Walter got an even bigger - - "
"You guys weren't on the air long enough for a crossover," Walter said, cutting Alex off.
"Hey," Jayne began.
"Where is Crichton, anyway?" Alex asked.
"He was headed for the QAF table, looking for Brian, when we came by," Mal told him.
"Him and everyone else," Simon said bitterly. "I hope he's prepared to bottom. Brian always tops."
"Well, maybe not always," Alex said. "Besides, I'm sure Crichton's used to it. I just know Aeryn's a top."
After the guys stopped laughing, Mal asked, "So where's Mulder and Doggett? Didn't they come with you guys? No pun intended."
"No," Walter said with a smile. "Ever since Summer King, they've been inseparable. We couldn't get them out of bed."
Walter saw a familiar blond walking by. "Justin, come on over here," he said. "Do you guys know Justin Taylor from QAF?"
Walter introduced everyone. "So. What are you up to, Justin?"
"Just wandering around until this is over."
"You're not worried Brian's going to find someone else here?" Alex teased him.
"No, I'm not worried," Justin said serenely. "He'll always come back to me."
"Hey," Jayne said, "We're trying to think of a way to get Peach to put us in a crossover story together. Wanna join us?"
"I don't know," Justin said doubtfully. "A Firefly/X Files/QAF crossover might be a bit much. Even for someone of Peach's considerable talent."
"Yes," Walter agreed. "And you're going to give someone ideas. Next thing you know, Lucas Buck and David McNorris will show up."
"I'm taking off. You guys have fun. And good luck." Justin said as he left.
They stood there discussing ways to talk Peach into it, when Mal asked, "Who is that? He's not one of Peach's guys, is he?"
They all turned to stare at a tall, striking bleach blond in a long leather coat. He headed straight for them.
"Alex Krycek, right?" he said in a lovely British accent.
"Yes?" Alex said.
"I'm Spike. A certain someone got me in. She's become quite taken with me recently and wants to see us - - " he gestured to Alex, "together. Very much."
"See what I mean?" Walter said, disgusted. "Michael Garibaldi's probably here, too. And that Scottish guy from Miracles."
"Irish." Alex corrected.
"Whatever. The point is - - " Walter suddenly remembered he was just in a vampire fic. Maybe they could work something out.
"I'm going to look around a bit," Spike announced. "We'll talk later."
"So," Alex said. "How can we convince her?"
"You could blackmail her," A cultured voice suggested.
"Lex!" Walter and Alex said. "How are you?" Walter asked him. Lex Luthor was looking especially nice in his purple shirt.
"I'm fine. Have you considered blackmail? I've found it to be very effective. I have a file on her - - "
"We wouldn't do that to Peach," Alex told him flatly. "She's too good to us."
"That's right," Simon said. "She loves us."
"Well, I'm considering it. It's been a while since she did anything for me. If you change your mind, there's this chick, Elaine. I got a lot of interesting information from her."
"Where is Clark, Lex?" Walter asked, changing the subject.
"With those guys from The Sentinel. But don't expect Blair and Jim to drop by. Someone doesn't know how to write them. I'm going to find the blond guy from QAF. I see Brian's a little busy." Lex started off in search of Justin.
"All right," Mal said. "Let's get serious. What would convince her?"
"We could all have hot, steamy, sex. That oughta convince her," Jayne said.
"Have you forgotten who's writing this? No way will she write a five-way," Alex sneered.
"Then what can we do?" Simon asked.
"I'll bet if we concentrated really hard, we could insinuate ourselves into Peach's dreams, and she'd be inspired," Walter suggested, not very logically, but look, I'm really not writing a five-way - -"Let's get out of here and go back to the hotel. And if this works . . . Jayne, about you topping me?"
"Yeah - - how . . .?" Jayne said.
"In your dreams."
Happy Birthday, Peach! I was kidding, really. You know I love you. Although, my birthday is next month . . .
Title: In Your Dreams
Feedback: Yes, please!
Warnings: This story contains m/m sexual relationship.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, I just like to play with them.
Notes: This is for Peach, hopefully it'll make her laugh on her birthday. It's pure, unbeta'd silliness, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
First Published: May 24, 2003
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